Tonight - a conversation between Jack (9) and me . . .
JACK: I guess I won't find out if Santa is real or not until I'm an adult.
ME: How will you find out when you're an adult?
JACK: Well, I'll live by myself and I'll get some gifts in the mail. I'll put those under my tree and then when it's Christmas day - if there are presents from Santa - then he's real.
ME: Do you think that's the only way you're going to find out?
JACK: Yep.
Jack's heard from all his classmates (he's in a 4th/5th split) that they don't believe in Santa. I'm not sure if he's holding out because he thinks he won't get presents if he doesn't or what. He really wants to believe in it. I'm feeling terrible now for even perpetuating the whole facade. What if he's crushed? Should I tell him? Should I wait until he asks?
I'd love to hear what you all think about this. When did you find out? When did your kids find out? Did they ask you about it?
I found out about Santa when I was 6 and in first grade. My little brother (a 5 year old kindergartner) found an Atari in the closet. He came to tell me and said, "Dad's Santa!" I'd also heard the rumors at school but I didn't want to believe it. But I also didn't want to look like a dummy to my little brother. So I asked my mom if she and Dad were Santa. She solemnly told me yes. And then it hit me about the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I think I was disappointed that there was no magic in the world, but I don't think I was upset for too long.
15 December 2009
hmmmm . . .
Posted by leigh at 11:01 PM
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12 comments:
I have no clue when I found out there was no santa. I have no memory of such things. I too have wondered when a good time to tell them would be. Before they hear it from someone else? But then again I think I want to claim he is real for the rest of their lives and they can just think I am crazy, but in a good way. Either way they get presents so I doubt they will be all that upset.
Oh my gosh... I remember finding out.. I was shopping with my mom for Christmas presents. I can't remember how old I was, I was old enough to be suspicious about it, my sister was 4 years younger then me, and my mom goes "so, for your sisters santa gift I think we'll get such and such a thing (I can't rememeber what)" and I was like.... Santa gift? And she didn't even flinch, just kept talking.. meanwhile, I'm holding back the waterworks and trying to act normal, lmao, I don't think I was that upset about it after a few hours, I knew I'd still get a santa gift either way.
THat story from that second comment was hilarious- I found out way too young from my older siblings - I think I was in kindergarten and I remember I had to act like he was real for all my friends for a long time. It's fun to believe - give it one more year - because on the other side of it: You don't want him to get made fun of because he still believes.
I found out when I was 7 or 8 when I saw notes from the elf in Dad's drawer. I thought I would make sure my suspicions were correct, so I had Dad and Mom write something for me to see if the writing matched. I remember thinking neither of them really did, but I asked them and they told me. I actually wasn't really devastated. I think I may have been a little more if I hadn't asked though. I bet Jack will get curious enough to ask.
Noah figured out the tooth fairy a few months ago. He was really excited to be let in on such a big secret when we confirmed his suspicions. Shortly after that I overheard him & his friend (another 9-yr-old) talking; the friend knew about the Easter Bunny so they were discussing those two; E.B. and T.F. The conversation rolled around to Santa and it was so cute; neither of them wanted to go that far in their mind to think Santa's not real. You could see the wheels turning... trying to imagine their parents pulling off all those great surprises over the years and not really thinking we could've done it!
As Christmas has been getting closer I keep waiting for Noah to put two & two together but he hasn't brought it up again. But I think this will be the year we tell him, the next time he asks. He also got a pretty extensive birds & bees talk recently... sad that they're growing up :(
As for me, my mom says I found out when I was 8 and got a Polaroid camera for Christmas that didn't work and had to be returned to the store. But I don't remember any big revelation; being the oldest I think I just kind of kept on believing for a long time! I know that when I was about 12 and had stayed up late and heard the sounds of my little brother's new basketball hoop being assembled in the living room, in my mind I imagined a big guy in a red suit putting it together :)
Once I thought I knew, I asked my mom. She used the old, "What do you think?" So I lied and said that my friend Megan's parents told her as a gift for her 8th birthday. I've always been a terrible liar. She wouldn't confirm or deny.
I think Jack might like being "in" on the secretive part of it all. Don't boys like intrigue and stuff?
We always saw where my parents stashed the presents, but we always just kept on hoping that there was a Santa. My mom never told us that there wasn't, but when we were older, we had to go into her room and help her wrap. Definitely not a good memory for me. Even though I knew there wasn't a Santa Clause, I liked to keep on pretending, even though it was obvious. So, in my opinion, I just wouldn't say anything and keep the magic alive. He'll know for sure one day, but will appreciate that magic that Christmas had.:)
i think i was in 3rd grade. i found the letter that was supposed to have been sent to the north pole hidden somewhere in the kitchen several months after christmas.
Personally, I am not really into Santa. If my kids talk about Santa, I just listen and say "oh, hmmm". If they ask if he's real "I say, what do you think?" and that usually is fine when they are little. Then at some point...6 or 7...I just tell them the truth. I feel like I am lying. I don't ever really discourage Santa, I just don't ENCOURAGE it. Like, I don't go on and on and adding to the story. My kids haven't really been that crushed because it's not what we ever focused on in the first place. I certainly don't knock anyone who loves the whole Santa thing though. It's a tough subject.
Good Luck! ;)
Well, it may be insightful into our whole disfunction, but we don't really talk about it and they don't really ask. I think it is too much fun to give it up. We still read the polar express every Christmas eve,just our little family. (Not that we are little, just after everyone is gone, or we are home alone.)
Meg has to tell me very specifically that she is putting her tooth under her pillow again tonight. I just can't seem to remember, the tooth fairy is the hardest.
Our Family does Santa too but I try, try, try to focus on the birth of Christ is why we celebrate CHRISTmas...I too remember believing in Santa, I don't remember when I found out about Santa...here is what I think...there really was a St. Nicholas...he did exisist...when my kids "figure it out" that "Santa" is mom and dad they will still always know we celebrate Christmas because of Jesus being born but will have fond memories of what "Santa" brought...it is such a small amount of time in their life to "Believe" in Santa but they hopefully will BELIEVE in Jesus Christ their ENTIRE lives. :)
Your little brother still believes....
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